I have been an assistant professor for one year now. And thinking about it today, I realize it's a lot easier than being a grad student.
True, I work a lot harder than I did as a post-doc, and that involved working harder than grad school. I do of course accomplish a lot more daily. There is definitely more stress and anxiety - more people depend on me, and the amount of time I have to succeed seems shorter. As a professor the number of different skills I am called on to use is greater, and the deadlines are shorter. I work more hours more consistently, and I have watched a lot less television (still a couple seasons behind on Fringe).
But given all that, it's easier being a professor.
The reason is, I now have confidence that I can do it.
When I was a grad student, I had no guarantee that I would ever be good at science. I wasn't sure my work would pay off so it was harder to do. I was at the bottom of the learning curve and every step was new and different.
Even the new things, if I fail at them, I still have the other things to count on as backup. I didn't have that in grad school. I just had a college diploma. And it was like that thru most of grad school. I didn't get any publications until right before I graduated, and I didn't even do an SFN poster until 4 years in. I was off in the wilderness and I had no external validation from the field. I was on the outside looking in, and there was no clear way in. That's a really hard and draining place to me.
Based on my own experiences, I do think that confidence in one's ability to achieve one's goals (known to social psychologists as self-efficacy) is one of the biggest factors in determining motivation. And motivation can determine success.
If I believe my grant may be funded, I will work on it until 2 am; if I believe it's a crapshoot, I'll submit a half-baked one. If I believe it probably won't be funded, I'll spend the afternoon reading slate.com.
I gained a big boost when I got my Ph.D. Then I really felt like "no matter what, they can't take this from me." When I got a couple publications, I could look back and say, those are in the scientific literature forever.
I try to remember this in my mentoring. I try to give more sympathy for the students than I would be inclined to. I think it might make the difference. I know for me back in the day having an advisor who could provide some validation kept me going through the roughest spots.
If I believe my grant may be funded, I will work on it until 2 am...If I believe it probably won't be funded, I'll spend the afternoon reading slate.com.
ReplyDeleteI guess this is why I've been having trouble really sinking my teeth into this BRAINS R01, and why the R21 was relatively easy to write. I felt good about the R21, I don't feel good about this. Where's my self-efficacy, dammit? I must have left it around here somewhere.
Tell me about it. Or rather, just tell me where you find it.
DeleteWhat a great post!
ReplyDeleteCertainly, grad students need sympathy from their mentors. Wish I could have read this when I did my PhD. It would make it easier to remember: all PIs were once grad students, and none were born confident in their research and the way they do it.
Thanks.